is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
