My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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