I wanna bring you to show and tell
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
