i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
