i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
ttyl tear gas
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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