Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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