I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
