You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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