it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
