Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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