i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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