part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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