stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
