don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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