you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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