I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
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