As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
