onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Found the puke drawer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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