Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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