I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
