She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
