someone get that fucking seahorse.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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