he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i will never coherently bang her
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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