I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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