you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm having to shit out rocks
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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