What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
