Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
