we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
