I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
