Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
