so explain again why im purple
no
where am i from again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
