wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
