(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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