Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
