im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
