Im at strip club and am horny
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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