Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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