Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
