We won't sleep together?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Where is the hickey?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
