I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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