1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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