This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
