Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
