high people should be assigned attendants
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
