why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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