Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
