Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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