and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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