The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
