They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
