People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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